Space Corps Directive #003
By joining Star Corps. each individual tacitly consents to give up his inalienable rights to life, liberty, and adequate toilet facilities.
Space Corps Directive #147
Crew members are expressly forbidden from leaving their vessel except on production of a permit. Permits can only be issued by the Chief Navigation Officer, who is expressly forbidden from issuing them except on production of a permit.
Space Corps directive #169
This has something to do with a sacrifice a hologramatic crew member has to take for the benefit of the rest of the crew. Kryten reminds Rimmer of this directive when he's mad about the "time-sharing" idea with Dr.Landstrom.
Space Corps Directive #195
In an emergency power situation,a hologrammatic crew member must lay down his life in order that the living crew members might survive.
Space Corps Directive #349
Any officer found to have been slaughtered and replaced by a shape-changing chameleonic life form shall forfeit all pension rights.
Space Corps Directive #592
In an emergency situation involving two or more officers of equal rank, seniority will be granted to whichver officer can program a vcr.
Space Corps directive #595
Allows you to keep people in quarantine for a period of 3 months.
Space Corps directive #597
One berth per registered crew member.
Space Corps Directive #699
Crew members can demand a re-screening, when held in quarantine, if after five days, no trace of diease is found they can be released.
Space Corps Directive #723
Terraformers are expressly forbidden from recreating Swindon.
Space Corps Directive #997
Work done by an officer's doppleganger in a parallel universe cannot be claimed as overtime.
Space Corps Directive #1694
During temporal disturbances, no questions shall be raised about any crewmember whose timesheet shows him or her clocking off 187 years before he clocked on.
Space Corps Directive #1742
No member of the Corps should ever report for active duty in a ginger toupee
Space Corps Directive #1743
No registered vessel should attempt to transverse an asteroid belt without deflectors.
Space Corps Directive #5796
No officer above the rank of mess sergeant is permitted to go into combat with pierced nipples
Space Corps directive #5797
The exact wording of this directive is not known, but, it is invoked to ensure the safety of the crew.
Space Corps Directive #7214
To perserve morale during long-haul missions, all male officers above the rank of First Technician must, during panto season, be ready to put on a dress and a pair of false breasts.
Space Corps Directive #7713
The log must be kept up to date at all times with current service records, complete mission data, and a comprehensive and accurate list of all crew birthdays so that senior officers may avoid bitter and embarrassing silences when meeting in the corridor with subordinates who have not received a card.
Space Corps Directive #34124
No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity
Space Corps Directive #43872
Suntans will be worn during off-duty hours only.
Space Corps Directive #68250
This directive references a ceremony involving the sacrifice of a live chicken and the involvment of a Rabbi.
Space Corps Directive #196156
Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the excercise bicycle in the women's gym will be discharged without trial. There is one Space Corp Directive about removing an irrational person from duty, Rimmer tries to invoke it against Lister in Rimmerworld. Rimmer gives the wrong number (196156) however Kryten does not tell him the correct number, but he quotes the directive Rimmer named and for once Rimmer does not give the correct number afterward.
Rimmer Directive #unknown
Never tangle with anything that's got more teeth than the entire Osmond family.
Rimmer Directive #271
No chance you metal bastard.
All nations agreement article #39436175880932/B.
All nations attending the conference are only allocated one parking space.
All nations agreement article #39436175880932/C.
P-O-W's have the right to non-violent constraint.